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Day Three – Monday, January 10, 2005 – Fast
Track, a Cruise and Fat Monica
Steph left a wakeup call for 5:51 and she and Stephen went for
a run and a workout. Will and Michelle went down and used the gym.
Silly children. I drank coffee and had an English muffin.
We were out the door at 8:25 for Animal Kingdom. We were through
security and the turnstiles at about 8:55 and took the right path
through the Oasis. I had a purpose. We stopped at the area housing
the Babirusa, that foul looking, fat, gnarly pig. My purpose was
to get a picture of my lovely wife standing by the sign. Why? Babirusa…
Babi Rusa… Barbara Russo. Get it? Now understand, I’m
not implying that my bride has any similarities to this foul looking,
fat, gnarly pig. Quite the contrary, she’s not fat at all.
She’s a good sport (Barbara Russo, not Babirusa) and agreed
to pose for me.
We got to the rope area by the Tree of Life just as they were concluding
the opening ceremonies. Great timing. We walked up, watched 95%
of the people there head straight for Kilamanjaro Safari (KS) while
we took a right for It’s Tough To Be a Bug (ITTBAB). Steph
has a general dislike of insects so this is not her cup of tea but,
she bravely endured it although she remembered to sit forward for
the bee sting and hover for the cockroach and maggot exit.
We next went to DinoLand, stopping first to view a single crocodile
(or was it a gator?), for a ride on Dinosaur. I never remember exactly
how rough this ride is. After bringing back the Iguanodon, we headed
into that decidedly tacky area where Disney points you with an Exit
sign. We stopped first in the gift shop where Steph purchased a
Dinosaur toy for the child of a friend. She had it shipped back
to the resort. We did take a ride on Primeval Whirl – a first
for Michelle, Steph and Will. For some reason, the 3 girls decided
they would ride together leaving us guys in a car to ourselves.
I think the additional weight (in our car, not theirs) resulted
in a ride with much more spinning.
We walked through Asia to Harambe, stopping quickly to watch DeVine
do her thing. This is the first time I’ve seen her walking
on the path rather than stuck into the foliage. She walked to a
nearby tree and struck a pose kind of hugging the tree’s trunk
with a leg stuck out behind her. I swear if I happened by, I would
never have suspected it was anything more than a vine – but
I guess that’s the point. I was videotaping as she walked
by and I noticed that, despite the stilts and the green face, she
was a very attractive woman. So I gave her an instinctive “How
you doin’?” I’m certain she was impressed. You
know what they say: Once you go green, you never go back. I was
trying to come up with a double entendre involving photosynthesis
but came up empty. Sorry.
We picked up FPs for the Safari and ducked into the Tusker House
for a late breakfast. We had a mix of sausage/bacon and eggs, cinnamon
rolls, coffee and juice. Once finished, it was a rest room break
and then into the FP line for the Safari.
While walking by scores of folks in the Standby line, I overheard
a woman ask, “Where are those people going?” Her companion
replied, “Oh. That’s the Fast Track system. I don’t
know how much it costs but it gets you on the rides without waiting”.
We were put into the last 2 rows to board the truck when Michelle
decided she wasn’t feeling well and started toward the exit.
Being the good Mom, Barb went with her. The rest of stayed and had
a very good Safari. The highlight was watching the 2 baby elephants
playing in the mud together. They were rolling around and climbing
over each other… a really cute sight. The lion was also out
and, for the first time, awake. He was sitting out on Pride Rock
and, while he was awake, he looked very, very sleepy. Apparently,
he was also up late watching the Jets game.
After exiting, we caught up with Barb and Michelle. Michelle was
feeling better but not 100% so we decided to head back to the resort.
Back at the BW, Stephen and I hit the gym for a workout. I went
through double sets on most of the Cybex machines (the ones that
wouldn’t cause further injury anyway) and decided to wrap
up with 20 minutes on the treadmill before hitting the pool. Stephen
was still lifting as I was trying to decipher the controls so I
could get the treadmill going at a reasonable speed at a reasonable
incline. Because of my 35-years in IT, it only took me 4 minutes
to figure out the freakin’ controls and get the thing moving.
So I’m walking on this contraption, at a pretty good pace,
when I notice that women occupy all the other treadmills. They’re
all staring fixedly at something overhead so I look up and see a
TV… tuned to a soap opera. Now at the risk of offending many
women out there, and possibly some men, I have a firm belief that
every minute spent watching a soap opera will destroy several million
brain cells – and not just the weak ones that alcohol kills.
Indeed, a steady diet of these things and one will find oneself
watching, and possibly enjoying, a Jerry Springer show featuring
‘men who left their wives because they’re in love with
transvestite bricklayers’. I lasted 10 minutes when I abruptly
shut the machine down, fell awkwardly off the back and ran screaming
out of the room. For Pete’s sake, it’s a gym…
can’t we lock it on ESPN or a news channel?
I walked down to the quiet pool where Barb and Michelle were already
in the water. I dropped my stuff on a table and started down the
stairs into the pool where I promptly slipped and landed squarely
on my butt. Probably payback for my diatribe against soap operas.
Barb asked if I was OK and I indicated that the only thing bruised
was my ego. She asked if I thought I’d have a bruise on my
backside so I offered to give her a peek. At this point, Michelle
let out an “Eeeewwww” and swam frantically for the other
end of the pool. Children just don’t want to think of their
parents seeing each other naked – at least I never did. Anyway,
Barb’s always trying to sneak a peek at my butt but, after
all, who can blame her?
We swam for a while, Jacuzzi-ed for a while and sunned ourselves.
It was, once again, sunny and low 80s. After a bit, Will, Stephanie
and Stephen joined us and we decided on a drink at the Leaping Horse
Libations pool bar. Stephen passed (he’s only 19 but he could
have had a virgin something), Barb had a frozen Margarita, Michelle
and Steph had frozen Strawberry Margaritas, and Will had a Full
House (? It was something with House in the name). I said I’d
also have one of those. The bartender asked for ID from the 3 ‘kids’
– none of whom had anything with them. They’re all over
25 and he relented when he found out they were with ‘Dad’.
As he was mixing up the drinks, I glanced up at the menu and discovered
the drink I ordered had 2 different rums and a Strawberry Daiquiri
mix. Ladies and gentlemen, I do not drink Daiquiris. I like my booze
to taste like booze and I consider drinking a Daiquiri akin to riding
a horse sidesaddle. Nevertheless, we took our drinks to a table
and I sucked through the straw like a co-ed on Spring Break. The
shame! See what 10 minutes in front of a soap opera does?
We hit the rooms for showers when I had the great idea of grabbing
some champagne for tonight’s Illuminations Cruise. I went
down to the Screen Door and found that, while they had no champagne,
they did have Asti Spumante so I bought a bottle. I wasn’t
about to buy their flute glasses at $12 per so I pleaded with the
CM for some Styrofoam cups. She entered the back room and came out
with 6 for me. I thanked her profusely. Asti Spumante in Styrofoam
cups – am I a class guy, or what?
Now back to the cheese I bought at Publix. Remember that the Fireworks
Cruise is a surprise for the kids. In the weeks before the trip,
I had suggested to Barb that, on the Cruise, we bring along a bottle
of wine and some snacks. Cheese, crackers, you get the picture.
When we had our pre-trip pizza party, we were coming up with our
shopping list and I wrote down ‘cheese’. Barb immediately
said, “Why do we need cheese?” She’s very forgetful
and I give her one of those looks (You know. The one with one eyebrow
raised.) that says “I’ll tell you later”. She’s
not satisfied and she persists “Why cheese?” Now I have
to say, “Later, Barb. Please.” And now this has piqued
the interest of the kids. They want to know what the cheese is for
so I simply say, “It’s a surprise”. Now for the
last couple of days, they’ve been waiting for the ‘Famous
Cheese Surprise” which will now never live up to the hype.
Showered and changed, we head over to the Beach Club where I have
a PS at the Cape May Buffet for 5:30. We’re early so we spend
some time wandering around the hotel until it’s time to be
seated. Our waitress is Kat and she’s great. She’s talkative,
funny, and she takes very good care of us. We chow down on soups,
salads, almond-encrusted salmon, clams mussels, prime rib, etc.
We hit the dessert cart pretty hard and Kat comes over and says,
“No one has an Oreo Bon Bon?” She then runs back and
grabs one and delivers it to the table. We share and it is very
good.
The Cape May tables are covered with large sheets of paper. There
are crayons on the tables as well and I’m sure that the little
ones use this for drawing, coloring, etc. While we’re having
coffee, Steph grabs a crayon and we embark on several games of tic-tac-toe.
I then get an idea and offer a game of Hangman, with the answer
being the ‘cheese surprise’ they’ve been asking
about. I draw out the dashes for F-I-R-E-W-O-R-K-S C-R-U-I-S-E and
we begin. I’ve just about got them hung when, in unison, they
realize that ‘-IRE-OR-S -R-ISE’ is Fireworks Cruise.
Another interesting note… 2 tables away is a Birthday Party
for Jacob. They bring out a cake, Kat takes a hit from a helium
balloon, and they sing ‘Happy Birthday’. Stephanie starts
complaining, in a humorous way, that we never did that for her 5th
birthday on her first trip. Quite a coincidence. Her birthday was
supposedly on this PS, but nothing happened here. I vow that I’ll
double-check it for the room and our next 2 dinners.
We settle up with Kat (got the 10% DVC discount) and head back
to stock up for the Cruise. We fill a tote bag with the Asti (which
has been chilling in the freezer), beer, soda, and… the cheese.
We grab some jackets, just in case it’s a little cooler on
the water – the nights have been balmy, and hoof it over to
the Yacht Club dock. Michelle and Steph head into the Yacht Club
for a rest room break while the rest of us head down to the dock
and I check us in. Our Captain, Scott, comes out and introduces
himself. I explain we’re waiting on two that are using the
ladies room. As Michelle and Steph walk up, Scott says loudly, “I
don’t care what you say, we’re waiting for them”.
We load up and, at 8:15, Scott takes us out and down the lagoon
toward MGM. Everyone’s in the front of the boat and I take
a spot in the back, near Scott, for some video and photos. Scott
asked where we were staying and, when he heard the Boardwalk, asked
if we’d like to be dropped off there at the end of the Cruise.
When we said “Sure” he indicated he could get us within
50 feet of the dock and we could swim in from there.
Scott is entertaining us with some facts about the Swan and Dolphin
and also answering some questions. Michael Eisner hated the initial
designs for the Swolphin and fired the architect. They were originally
to be built near Downtown Disney but they signed a longer lease
and Disney allowed them to build where they are now. The black areas
on the side of each building are the areas where the monorail will
pass through – if it’s ever extended. The new architect
(Graves or Grady?) had a different (humorous?) perspective and actually
designed the Swan with the waves and the Dolphin with the grass
on the buildings – dispelling the urban legend that the figures
at the top were erroneously placed. He also addressed the common
perception that the ‘Dolphin’ statues are really fish,
not mammals. The figure is actually taken from how dolphins were
depicted on old maritime charts. ‘Soaring’ will not
include the ‘Over California’ designation so it can
be changed in the future. He’s hearing things like ‘The
Alps’ and the ‘Grand Canyon’. IROE costs $35k
per night. Facts or not, Scott was entertaining.
I was chatting with him about his work on these cruises. He indicated
that this was part-time for him. His full-time job was a manager
for Parks and Recreation where he managed some 14 facilities around
Orlando. Previously, he worked as a football coach at the high school
and college level. This piqued Stephen’s interest and he moved
back with us. We learned that Scott coached Tre Thomas, now with
the Eagles, when in high school. As a 15-year old sophomore, Tre
was 6 7” and 285 pounds. Yow!
At this point, Scott was positioning us beneath the bridge in Epcot.
He had promised that, once we saw IROE from here, we’d never
want to see it from anywhere else. I have watched IROE a number
of times from the bridge so I was anxious to see the difference.
Scott also promised us a breakdown of the IROE phases so we could
better understand the show. There are 56 phases of IROE. Scott walked
us through the major ones such as the warming of the Earth, prehistoric
man, forming of the continents, travel and population, etc. through
those people that have shaped the world as it is today. It was very
interesting and did fill in a lot of the blanks.
A Birthday Cruise boat pulled up alongside and Stephanie said,
“Dad? For me? Thanks.” I’ve gotta get that done.
I popped the cork on the Asti and filled several of those Styrofoam
cups. IROE began and we all agreed that this vantage point was special.
I’ve always loved this show, and its previous versions, but
this view was the best. We could also hear the narration and music
much more clearly here. After the show, Scott waited a few minutes,
then took us out into World Showcase Lagoon for a bit. We then took
a leisurely cruise back to the BW. After debarking (unbarking? Did
we ever really bark in the first place?), I tipped Scott nicely
and thanked him profusely. The Cruise was great and he made it even
better.
A quick word about the cost of the cruise. In 2001, we did the
Fireworks Cruise at MK. When I booked it I was told the cost was
$120 plus tax. When we paid, after the cruise, we were charged $120
including tax. When I booked this cruise, I was told the cost, including
tax, would be $120.73. When I checked in, I was charged $125. Can
anyone figure this out? BTW, I just read that the Cruise increased
to $150 on January 4, 2005. I guess because I was already booked,
we got the old rate. Just another example of the Carousel of Policy.
A lot of folks ask if the Cruise is worth the cost and it’s
a difficult question to answer. Is it worth $150 to watch the show
from under, rather than on, the bridge? No. Is it worth $150 to
bring 5, 6 or more people on the boat for an hour, cruise the lagoons,
be entertained and watch IROE from what is possibly the best vantage
point available? IMO, yes.
We spent a few minutes on the BW. Do you know that Fun House mirror
they have there? We discovered that Michelle is precisely the right
height (I believe she’s about 5’ 9”) to look like
a short, squat midget in that mirror. She was wearing Capri pants
and the image made it look like her legs were about 8” tall
and it compacted the rest of her. It was hysterical. She would stand
back 10 feet and run toward the mirror. We even got her to do a
little dance. Did you ever see the Friends episode where ‘fat’
Monica dances? That was Michelle. I know I’m not doing this
justice with the written word but, if you were there, you’d
have been laughing uncontrollably. Shoot – write me. I’ll
send the video.
By the way, we drank the Asti but no one wanted any cheese.
Things I Think I Think – I think some folks should really
do some reading before heading to WDW – at least read about
the FastPass system. I think I shouldn’t poke fun at soap
operas if I’m going to have a Daiquiri. I think I should leave
Barb out of future ‘surprises’. I think the Cape May
Buffet is very good. I think … nah, I know the Illuminations
Fireworks Cruise is, too.
Day 4...
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